I can only imagine. I don’t have the courage to be so open with my pain. I feel so fortunate to have found your Substack. I feel like I learn something about myself with every piece you post. My best to you and yours.
Thank you, Kim. Yes, it’s always difficult to sit with these memories and write about them, but it’s also been a path to healing, in stops and starts. I appreciate you reading.
Geez, Keith, this was a hard one to get through for me. I can't imagine how you find your strength to write , other than it's a kind of therapy, education and redemption. Blessings, my beautiful Substack friend. Thank you for sharing tonight ✨ and will reStack ASAP 🙏✌🏻
With 50+ years between me than and me now, it’s easier, and my therapist I found 5 years ago has been a godsend for me. One of my biggest obstacles was forgiving myself. I can’t blame it all on abuse and trauma, I had choices. It’s difficult still, and it’s almost as difficult to say much more about it.
It was and it wasn’t. I’ve only written one other piece since this one, a very dry, mechanical exposé of how badly (and deceitfully) Substack had handled the AI assessment built into each note and long post. It took a few days, but this piece has extracted its toll. I’m hoping to return to writing soon, but for now, I’m sort of up against a wall.
Well at least I know I wasn't the only boy to go through all that . Seems we both had same reaction nothing . I never new the names of all the things because I am older . Therapists just filled me with meds and said I was a sexual addict . That is all we had back then .Great writing about a touchy subject KEITH. You are doing so much better than me my friend .Proud of you
It’s not a competition, Mitch. Everybody is on their own healing journey, some are just at different places. I also believe that there’s always been something in my nature to (stupidly?) push and push until I had what I wanted, which in this case, bring myself to the point where at least the nightmares would stop. I used to frequently scream and yell out in my sleep, from horrific nightmares. This usually happened on a weekly basis. But about 18 months ago, they became less and less frequent, until now the times I’ve awakened screaming is ‘0’.
Not saying it is a competition at all Keith . There were many things I didn't no and Drs . Didn't at that point . So they turned to hard mental meds . I wish I knew have the things you do my friend . You have a great support system I have my self . Nightmares I know very well . You are improving a lot I envy you . Peace and love to you and family
Thank you for another brilliant piece about childhood trauma, abuse and healing.
Thank you, Shawn. A difficult one to write.
I can only imagine. I don’t have the courage to be so open with my pain. I feel so fortunate to have found your Substack. I feel like I learn something about myself with every piece you post. My best to you and yours.
Maybe it isn’t courage, Shawn. Ever consider I might not be the brightest bulb on the bush, so to speak?
Courage and a sense of humor. 😂
The sense of humor is a must 💯
You’ve got that in spades.
😉🙄
Oh how my heart physically hurts for that young man.
And as difficult as it is for you to write about it, Keith, I believe it is therapeutic and will help you continue to heal.
It has and does. Thank you for all your support!
Another gripping piece of autobiography by Keith.
thanks, Mark
Incredible writing, and sharing. Difficult. Many thanks 🙏🏽
Thank you, Kim. Yes, it’s always difficult to sit with these memories and write about them, but it’s also been a path to healing, in stops and starts. I appreciate you reading.
Geez, Keith, this was a hard one to get through for me. I can't imagine how you find your strength to write , other than it's a kind of therapy, education and redemption. Blessings, my beautiful Substack friend. Thank you for sharing tonight ✨ and will reStack ASAP 🙏✌🏻
With 50+ years between me than and me now, it’s easier, and my therapist I found 5 years ago has been a godsend for me. One of my biggest obstacles was forgiving myself. I can’t blame it all on abuse and trauma, I had choices. It’s difficult still, and it’s almost as difficult to say much more about it.
Healthy Healing Vibes 🙏
Thanks, Karen 🙏
Wow, this was quite a piece! I hope writing this was cathartic for you, and you have touched many people with it.
It was and it wasn’t. I’ve only written one other piece since this one, a very dry, mechanical exposé of how badly (and deceitfully) Substack had handled the AI assessment built into each note and long post. It took a few days, but this piece has extracted its toll. I’m hoping to return to writing soon, but for now, I’m sort of up against a wall.
Well at least I know I wasn't the only boy to go through all that . Seems we both had same reaction nothing . I never new the names of all the things because I am older . Therapists just filled me with meds and said I was a sexual addict . That is all we had back then .Great writing about a touchy subject KEITH. You are doing so much better than me my friend .Proud of you
It’s not a competition, Mitch. Everybody is on their own healing journey, some are just at different places. I also believe that there’s always been something in my nature to (stupidly?) push and push until I had what I wanted, which in this case, bring myself to the point where at least the nightmares would stop. I used to frequently scream and yell out in my sleep, from horrific nightmares. This usually happened on a weekly basis. But about 18 months ago, they became less and less frequent, until now the times I’ve awakened screaming is ‘0’.
Not saying it is a competition at all Keith . There were many things I didn't no and Drs . Didn't at that point . So they turned to hard mental meds . I wish I knew have the things you do my friend . You have a great support system I have my self . Nightmares I know very well . You are improving a lot I envy you . Peace and love to you and family
Thanks, Mitch. Take care of yourself.